Entry: Nit Picking or Picking Nits? Friday, September 23, 2011

One of the problems I have found recently in my online life, is that the "group think" cluster fuck which we all wish we could avoid, is in fact alive and well and everywhere we go.


I think this is because we tend to migrate towards those who do think like us.  We tend to spend time at places where, for the most part, we are part of a group that we feel we can belong to.


This is quite normal.  We are after all just a higher form of pack animal.  Like monkeys we prefer social groups to antisocial aloneness.  We want to belong, to feel wanted, needed, liked, respected, listened to, even loved. 


However, once in these groups, our negative behavior can rear it's ugly head.  We no longer pick nits off our companions, we just nit-pick an issue into the ground.  If one in the group says something someone doesn't like, the rest of the group will, for the most part, follow the first person to get aggressive.  Never stopping to pay attention to the actual situation, people involved, or the accusations being flung like wordshit.  It is in fact typical monkey behavior.


Now in a perfect world, these things not only would not happen, but if they did, the group would turn their backs on the aggressor and the one being accused.  They would do the "human" thinking of let these monkeys fling their wordshit and beat their chests until one emerges triumphant.  Or, they come to a civil, and very human, agreement to disagree.


Unfortunately this rarely, if ever happens.  As a result, there are always people who feel they've been turned aside, rejected, thrown away from the group.  Now these people have a few options.  They can live on the outskirts of the group collecting scraps, taking the idea that attention is attention, whether good or bad.  They can leave the group and become solitary.  Forging their own path.  Living their own life.  Or they can join a new group.


What is rarely looked at, is what happens to the group when these holes are left by monkeys who choose one of the latter two options.  When the monkey refuses to be satified with second guessing their self worth on a daily basis.  Who refuse to collect scraps.  Who know their own self worth and take it elsewhere so that it may be appreciated.


See people who know their strengths, their own self worth, however quiet they may be, quickly become part of a group's foundation.  They may not be the smartest, or the prettiest or even the nicest.  What they are is a strength to everyone around them.  They are a bolster to the group as a whole. 


When these people leave the group.  The holes left behind need one of two things, to be refilled immediately or the monkey who filled them brought back to resume their place.  The problem is, the other monkeys have gone in to "group think" mode and have gone beyond human intelligence and are stuck in ook ook overdrive.  Because of that, monkeys rarely return to the group.  As a result of that, the holes they leave behind tear the group apart a little more day by day.


What you end up with is a group of people who will just as soon turn on their own and eat them as not. 


OOK OOK motherfucker!


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