Let me tell you what you can do with that fucking tree….
Yeah I'm talking to you. You know who you are. Every time I pass you on the street you tell me Merry Christmas. Every time I see you in the mall you ask "if I'm finishing up my Christmas shopping?" Every fucking time you are behind me in line at the grocery, you ask "if I've decided on what I'm cooking for Christmas dinner?"
What part of I do not know you have you missed? Why is this season of "peace on earth and goodwill towards men" one which means I have to speak to complete strangers about things I'm already stressing over and be fucking nice too? Do I look like a nice person to you? I'm sorry when did you get your eyes checked last?
Have you been rude to someone during Christmas? You would think I had just dropped a baby off a 20 story building. I mean damn, it is not that serious. I think if I do not initiate a conversation with you, then you should give me the same courtesy. Don't talk to me and I won't make you cry. How hard is that to understand?
I think I'm going to make me a Christmas season shopping t-shirt.
If Jesus is real, he would have been born in March. You are only celebrating this "birthday" in December because a bunch of old farts back in big beard and flip flop season thought they'd convert more heathens if they incorporated the local customs. Hence December stopped being the Winter holiday and became Christmas. Find me in March and tell me Merry Christmas then. I may have calmed down enough to only slap you once!!
Fuck New Years too while I'm at it!
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